top 10 things you will hear me say at camp this summer

10-"where's your water bottle?"
9-"how do you say your name?"
8-"where are you from?"
7-"SIT DOWN!"
6-"do you think it's a good idea to go on a hike wearing heels?"
5-"if you want gelato, you better come when i tell you to."
4-"lights out means lights out, not 5 more minutes."
3-"say it in english, please."
2-"how many houses/boats/small countries does your family own?"
1-"you did not shower. i can still smell you. try again."

lizards gross me out

which i why i was thoroughly disgusted to find one ON MY BED when i got out of the shower. you see, i normally associate lizards with deserts and cacti, but for some reason, switzerland is overrun with the things. i'm not kidding. you walk along the sidewalk and you can hear the scurrying of dozens of 8 inch lizards. and if you're sitting on the grass still enough, they will even start to climb on you. needless to say, i don't sit on the grass very often. so anyway, i saw this lizard on my bed and i wanted to cry i was so repulsed. then i thought maybe my new roommates were playing a joke until i saw his tail twitch. i tried to shoo him away, but he was very content to stay where he was. i got my shoe and pushed him and he ran across the length of my bed, contaminating the whole thing. my roommate, sarah, came in the room and saw me with my shoe in my hand and yelled, "DON'T HURT BUSTER!!" BUSTER?!?! THIS THING HAS A NAME?!?!? according to them, that thing had been in the room since we got here and he's been hiding out. they thought he was so cute and harmless. it took half an hour and i was all sweaty at the end but i got buster out of the room for good. my roommates were actually sad about the disappearance of their "pet" because he eats the bugs. WHAT BUGS? so i promised that i would personally buy anything we needed to get rid of any bugs as long as they would be vigilant in keeping the door closed so buster (or his friends) couldn't sneak back in. then, when nobody was looking, i changed my sheets and pillowcase. i was not about to put my face where those scaly little reptile legs had been. i guess it could be worse: last summer the guys found a 3 FOOT SNAKE in their apartment. they aren't quite the animal lovers that my roommates are: they not only killed him, but they didn't even name him.

this is why i love b

b is my little brother. and when i say little i mean younger because he is actually very tall. i have another younger brother named matty who loves cats. (ew) and he has had a lot of cats. and they always meet their end on the very busy highway in front of my parents' house. my mom, deba, was getting ready one morning and heard the sickening thud that comes when cat and tire meet at high speeds. not wanting tenderhearted matty to see his cat laying on the road, she went into b's room to recruit some help retrieving the cat. "b, matty's cat just got hit by a car, come help me take care of it." he responded to her, sleepy and annoyed, "i am so tired of scraping matt's cats off the road." but he did it anyway.

getting dead sea in your eye hurts real bad

so it might not be a good idea to splash very much when you're bobbing up and down. but if you DO get dead sea in your eye, don't use your hand to rub your eye because chances are, you also have dead sea on your hand. after looking helplessly around you, you'll probably realize that the only way to remedy the situation is go to the showers on the beach. this task is made considerably more difficult because you now only have one functioning eye which severely hinders your depth perception. but you will probably make it to the shower, despite stumbling like a drunkard, and you will rinse the dead sea out of your eye and all will be well. but whatever you do, no matter how tempting it is, don't taste the dead sea. it is so much grosser than regular ocean water. trust me on this one.

my friend, emily, is going to a stud farm this week

doesn't that sound like the perfect place to find a husband?



i wonder which one she'll choose.

i probably wouldn't make a very good spy

the other day i was eavesdropping on a russian tour group. i love doing this. whenever i hear that language that is music to my ears i get a big, dopey grin on my face. plus, i think eavesdropping is great practice for when i become a spy. so here i am having a jolly time when i heard a very puzzling conversation. the tour guide gives the russian woman a magnet with the king and queen of jordan on it (these people love their king. his picture is everywhere.) really, that should have been a clue to me, but i think my brain was overheated.

russian woman: you have a very beautiful bunny.
guide: yes, our bunny is very beautiful.
woman: your bunny is beautiful and very young.
guide: well, our king married the bunny when they were both young.

once i figured out my mistake i was so embarrassed. not that i confused the words "bunny" and "queen", because sometimes that happens. what was so embarrassing was that it took me the ENTIRE conversation to figure out that they were not actually discussing bunnies. so if the government is ever going to put the safety of their bunnies in my hands, i better brush up on that russian.

yesterday i saw petra...

...and it was magnificent.

this is not a commitment

i am joining the blogging world. for real this time. welcome. thank you for coming. probably starting a blog when the computer is in arabic is not the smartest thing in the world but i've got some free time, so let's get acquainted:

sometimes i listen to the same song over and over and over. sometimes i imagine i'm a rock star when i sing that song real loud while i'm driving atticus. i give human names to inanimate objects. sometimes i love my job and sometimes i hate it. sometimes i read too many books at once. i have very strong opinions that i keep to myself. sometimes i think the time life infomercials are just about the best thing on tv. i cannot stay awake through movies. i do not own a gun so my grandpa thinks i am a hippy. one time i met jim from the office and sometimes i relive that glorious day in my head.

i am sitting here and a pop remix of no woman, no cry is blasting out on the street. it is a happy, happy moment. arabs have great taste in music. my time is up. more later.