rabies was not on my christmas list

but i got it anyway.

really.

(not really...i don't think)

i went out for a nice winter wonderland jog yesterday and was very much enjoying myself (don't you become euphoric when you start freezing to death?) when some dogs joined me. the village where my parents live has more dogs than people (also more horses than people and more pick-up trucks than people) so i wasn't surprised or alarmed when they came running up to me, barking. one jogged with me and the other kept barking at me and then had a chunk of my left calf for lunch. and when i say chunk i mean that it barely drew blood, but was still enough of a bite that rabies immediately began coursing through my veins. it wasn't until about a half mile later that i realized it hurt bad enough that MAYBE it broke my skin and i should look at it. sure enough, 2 teeth marks, a stream of blood and already some bruising. what's a girl to do? i kept running. (did 4 miles, not bad for someone with a rabies disability) went to the doctor, called animal control and now have a $100 bill for my jog. and the owners of the dog don't believe it happened because "we never have joggers on this road." air tight logic. i KNEW i should have just stayed home and eaten all the caramel chocolate covered pretzels my mom made. no one ever got rabies from being a couch potato.

another thing that was not on my christmas list:

after i mentioned my love for nutella's chocolatey goodness several months ago, one of my students brought me a giant jar for christmas and my excitement wasn't exaggerated. i had no bananas or cookies or spoons to dip in it, so i used what i had.

carrots. yum.

broccoli. yum.

PIZZA CRUST. YUM.

i'll take nutella over rabies any day.

i can tell i've been listening to too much reggae

because in spelling the other day, we had the word "joint" and i couldn't stop giggling.

i will not be sharing a homeless man's box

when i go to new york. i have officially found accommodation for the big trip and it's quite a steal. an entire apartment in manhattan to myself for less than $25 a night. i'm pretty sure willy would have charged more to share his box, but don't tell rosemary, she'll up the price on me. so now that i have a place to stay i am SO VERY EXCITED because one of my dreams is finally coming true. (dream small like me and your dreams come true all the time) i am going to be a new yorker for a whole week, a week that i have had planned out since i was 10 years old when the babysitter's club took a vacation to new york.

1)first order of business, central park. i care about one thing and one thing only in that park: strawberry fields. there i will lay a single long stemmed red rose on the imagine mosaic and shed a tear for john.

2)stake out the dakota. i don't care how long i have to sit there or how cold it is, i will wait till yoko ono comes out and gives me an autograph or photo. stalking john krasinski proved fruitful, so i have no reason to believe that yoko won't eventually give in. and because i can already feel that it's going to be a magical week, i will not be the least bit surprised when she invites me up for tea and there at the table will be paul and ringo. it will be delightful and i will probably pass out.

3)go see dave. i don't think he'll be filming during the last week of the year, but you never know. maybe he'll be at the office late "hanging out" with one of his interns and he'll let me play a game of "please stop calling me chief." at any rate, i'll get to see the ed sullivan theater where the beatles made their american debut. close second.

4)check out the hello deli and shake hands with rupert jee. i think it's strange that dave has him on the show all the time and yet he still is so painfully awkward. maybe that's just how he is. i'll let you know after i meet him.

5)take the ferry to ellis island and the statue of liberty. at lyndsey's suggestion i will buy a green foam crown so i can blend in with all the locals. nerd alert: i am REALLY excited to go to ellis island.

6)ground zero.

7)new year's eve in times square. yes, it's cliche, but i have ridden a camel at the pyramids and held up the leaning tower of pisa. obviously, i am comfortable being cliche. (maybe i will even stay until midnight)

8)stop by central perk and chat about nothing with phoebe and joey and rachel and chandler and monica and ross.

9)spend a night or two in the met like claudia in "from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e. frankweiler"

10)climb up all 102 flights of the empire state building. there is no real reason to do this, other than to justify

11)eating everything in sight.


after i am done being a tourist i will come home to my hamilton heights apartment and pretend that i just had a long day of work on wall street. i will walk fast and talk fast and take no lip, just like a real new yorker.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.