united pigs of america has been temporarily suspended

but only temporarily, believe you me. upa is a club started by my friend, amanda and her friend when they were in middle school. meetings consisted of getting together and eating a whole lot of food, so when amanda told me of upa, i knew immediately this was a cause i could whole-heartedly support.

amanda and i decided to resurrect upa on our trip to st. moritz after the 2 of us ate a plate of raclette intended for 4 people. raclette consists of pouring melted cheese over any and everything: potatoes (there were enough to feed an entire irish county), tiny onions, prosciutto, pickles, olives, bread, tomatoes. it may sound gross, but trust me, it's not. although you can actually feel yourself getting fatter and your arteries filling with fat (or is it cheese?).

upa convened regularly this summer. on day trips. on campus. overnight trips. evenings off. staff meetings. it was easy to find recruits. we even got rich to be in charge of upa international: he's british. we ate whole pizzas (in our defense, those things are very thin). we tried all the unusual toppings on the menu: salmon, walnuts, dandelion leaves, cream cheese, artichokes, whole broccoli, eggplant, buffalo milk cheese, zucchini, whole raw egg, tuna, sweet peas. (i may not speak much italian, but i am fluent in reading italian menus). we had rabbit and polenta, cannoli, gnocchi, every pasta imaginable. sara li, the local gelateria, was a daily and sometimes twice daily stop on our itinerary. we had every kind of cheese switzerland offers (really it's surprising there weren't more digestive problems among upa members). we piled on the cafeteria food, even though it was cafeteria food. it was not uncommon to order more than one dessert. the pinnacle of the summer of overindulgence was when six gold status members of upa celebrated the end of summer in style during a day trip at a restaurant in bellinzona:

2 appetizers? check.
MORE than 6 entrees? check.
6 profiterols? check. (think, chocolate cream puff filled with ice cream drizzled in chocolate)
1 giant order of chocolate fondue? check.
sips of chocolate fondue after the fruit was gone? check.

it was a glorious gluttonous time.

but all good things come to an end and we put upa to sleep for a season. it is no coincidence that once my upa membership expired, i joined another, better-known club: gold's gym

i sure hate that place.