i've been racking up the frequent flyer miles for years

ok, so maybe if i was really "racking them up" it wouldn't take me 5 years to accumulate enough to fly out of state. but the point is, i finally have enough to go somewhere in the continental u.s. (no alaska ice fishing for me) so for months i have been trying to find the perfect opportunity to spend my miles and have a free trip. new york? dc? boston? this is not a decision i have taken lightly, what with my inherent cheapskate-ness. i did not want to waste those miles. but after months of deliberating i have finally made my decision. on february 4th i will be flying to....





IOWA!!


and unfortunately, i am not even joking about that.

good times await me in cedar rapids, iowa, my friend. in fact, their official website says

"Cedar Rapids is a vibrant city, encompassing unique attractions, exciting events, specialty shopping, a dynamic arts scene, and a cosmopolitan nightlife."

yeah, right. when they say "vibrant city" do they really mean "quiet farm town"? "unique attractions" or "oh, look. another corn field"? exciting events? well, that one might be true. i will be spending my time at the convention center interviewing for jobs. and i really can't think of an event more exciting than a job fair at a crowded, noisy convention center full of overeager teachers...except maybe standing in line to get a swine flu shot.

so, i have wasted 35,000 of my precious and rare miles on a weekend trip to dynamic and cosmopolitan cedar rapids. but, if it gets me my dream job in paraguay, then it will be totally worth it. besides, at least i didn't have to fork out $400+ for a ride to iowa, like some chumps i know. (hi, emily) that would be way more depressing.

i'll send a postcard.