3 days left

i wonder if the knots in my stomach are from nervousness or excitement. at first, i thought excitement, but now i'm not so sure. maybe i'm just hungry.

i am having a really difficult time packing a year's worth of life in a suitcase and giant backpack. i've started over 3 times. i may ending up wearing the same t-shirt all summer. (it's green. it says reunite ireland in gaelic. it is so political. i love it.)

i kind of overscheduled myself with "things i need to do before i leave." and it didn't help that i spent hours yesterday watching a law and order marathon. i got dressed at 1 pm. it finally felt like summer vacation.

i wonder if b's dishes will still be sitting in the sink when i come visit in august. b is not the world's best housekeeper.

i'm trying to eat up all the food in my fridge so it doesn't go to waste. if i see one more container of peanut stir fry, i will throw up.

what if my plane crashes?

i spent hours planning 18 intermediate esl lessons...and then got an email saying, "no need to plan lessons, we have it all here for you."

i finally got my visa on monday after countless emails and phone calls to the consulate in san francisco. the last time i called, she said it will be there in 10 days. i said that's unfortunate because i leave in 5. she said i should have allowed 10 days. i said it really takes 10 days to put a sticker in my passport and mail it back? (even when i provided a stamped envelope? are they sending it from the moon?)

i checked out some italian language cds from the library. i got to lesson 8 of 40 before i finally faced the fact that cramming 40 lessons in 3 days will not make me fluent. but now i know how to say it's raining: piove. besides, i already know all the italian i'm really going to need: "vorrei un cono di pistacchio gelati, per favore!"

i sure am going to miss my deba. she is coming tomorrow to hang out with me for a couple of days before i go. i hope she likes peanut stir fry.