what the heck would you do in a situation like that?

this has become my mantra lately. it turns out i'm not a very risky person. my financial advisor told me i should have the "highly aggressive" portfolio because of my age, even though i told him i'd feel way more comfortable with the 90-year-old man portfolio with its guaranteed returns. i don't make bets i can lose. i don't set goals i can't achieve.

but...

i have also tried to live my life with no regrets. and lately, that means that sweetpagene has had to make a choice between no regrets and taking risks.

it has not been an easy few weeks. however, i've learned that sometimes the biggest regrets are the risks you don't take.

so, when the headmaster gave me the letter of intent to return next school year, i didn't sign it. i declined the offer--for a myriad of reasons, but mostly for two:

1) i'm a teacher at heart. it's what i do and it's what i love. but in order to remember why i do it and why i love it, i need to walk away from it for a while. so i'm going home, to no job, to a mortgage, to a big fat question mark in a terrible economy to figure out where to go from here.

2) most of my dreams come true. i am oh, so lucky. but there's one dream i've been waiting so long for and right now, for the first time ever, that dream might be within my reach. and if i stay in this beautiful country that feels like home, i'll never know what could be and i'd always be left wondering "what if?" so i'm going home to prove that i'll take whatever risk necessary to make all my dreams reality.

so here's to my leap of faith...i may fall flat on my face, but at least i'll have no regrets.