my new job

a couple months ago i got a new job.  it pays practically nothing (like teaching), but this time, i am paid according to what i do: practically nothing.  i spend most of my time sitting in a chair.  also, i have been at this job for almost 3 months and i haven't had to use my brain once.  it is so nice...the low-paying menial job i have always hoped for.  when a task comes around, which it occasionally does, you better believe i do it carefully and efficiently so i can get right back to facebook.  you know what is great?  when 5:00 rolls around, i GO HOME.  and i DO NOT THINK ABOUT WORK...unless you count "thinking about my attractive co-worker" as "thinking about work."

 i do not.  

yesterday, it was so slow here i did not do ONE SINGLE THING. also, on christmas eve, we played wii.

today i have a cold on my right side.  my right eye and right nostril are running like a faucet and my left side feels pretty darn good and i wish tomorrow was a work day so i could call in sick.  because you know, at my new job, if i feel sick i don't even have to write sub plans and get a substitute!  i just call and say i feel terrible and they say "oh, too bad.  feel better soon!"  and then i lay on my couch all day and watch law and order and don't even have to wonder if my class is behaving or dread returning to a mountain of work to correct.  SICK DAYS ARE THE BEST.  so even though i won't use a sick day THIS time, i'm still crossing crossing my fingers for the flu.

2013: comeback special

hello internet,

another year has passed in only a matter of days and it's time to update you on all the amazing things the sweetpagene family has accomplished this year.  (yeah, right.)

january: got frostbite while running a race when it was -6.  decided to make this year my comeback year, just like elvis did when he was my age.  took first sick day ever. bought ankle socks.

february: was told by doctor i was overweight, which was BRAND NEW INFORMATION.  was also told by doctor to not eat gluten, sugar, or dairy.  ha ha, doctor.  got new glasses.  world suddenly became crisp and clear. watched the grammys, because MUMFORD AND SONS.

march:  probably just watched a lot of tv this month.

april: looked at some tulips.  saw bon jovi.  wore a snuggie in public.

ran 3 races in one month.


may:  failed at making 2013 my comeback year. went to symphony.  took indian cooking class.

june: traveled down under to see this power ranger:

followed bad directions and what began as a lovely aussie bush walk turned into an exhausting, terrifying death march.  celebrated first anniversary with vitamix.  got personal record in 2013 half marathon #9.

july: went to TWO bridal showers in one week.  recovered from that trauma at the reggae festival via second hand smoke. went to katie's wedding in virginia.  saw dorothy's ruby slippers.  met a senator.


august: did a lot of floating in the lazy river.  got ripped off by larry h. miller honda.

september: sara visited.  ate a lot of cheesecake.  ran a race in 85 degree heat.  switched from a mop to a swiffer.

october: started a new job that involves a lot of sitting (in other words, dream job). was denied my free chik-fil-a sandwich after sojo half marathon.  decided to boycott sojo marathon.

november:  attended my first hockey game, enjoyed the zamboni. went on more dates than usual.  decided to stop dating.  ran my 13th half marathon for the year.
 

december: saw anchorman (the first one).  thought it was lame.  played wii at work.  got my washer fixed.

and that's that.  not the comeback year i'd hoped for, but things are definitely looking up.

now for the family christmas picture:


happy christmas!  happy new year!

2012  2011

2012: sweetpagene family christmas letter

hello friends,

the sweetpagene family hopes that your 2012 was a wonderful year.  yes, we know that 2013 is almost over and that we really need to get with the program.  but first things first.  jeez.

january: started part-time job at an unnamed school that should have been named "military training camp for hitler youth"

february: found my bestie.


march: achieved fame and fortune after starring in a music video. 
 just kidding about the fame...and fortune.

april: visited robin in florida. won the hearts of three of her children. ate a key lime shake.  played the lotto. won $2.  read more here.

may: went back to the school where i started teaching, begged for my job back, and was reinstated as supreme queen third grade teacher.

june: started my fifth and final summer summer in switzerland.  followed tradition and ate way too many french fries in the dining hall.

july: visited the beehive house, very disappointed.  organized an assassin game.  shamed an assassin cheater.  got back to my roots at the demolition derby.

august: found out my classroom had been robbed. saw these guys in concert.

september: pretended to be a rodeo queen.

went to a wailers concert. went home before the wailers performed. was very mad about that.

october: visited some friends in boston.  nearly overdosed on boston's charm.  was outrun in my second half marathon by a speed walking granny.

november: agreed to set a goal with lyndsey to run 13 half marathons (13.1 miles) in 2013.  listened to the entire beatles catalog while driving to san diego.  stayed awake through a three-hour movie. became an aunt again.

december: kicked myself for saying yes to lyndsey's stupid idea.  sang karaoke for the first time.  got some food storage.

so long, 2012!  good riddance!

2011

i have not been hacked.

this is, as my friend robin would say, totes legit. i wouldn't say that, though, because i'm not 13.  (for the record, neither is robin, but she is far more hip than i.)

i think my four loyal readers have moved on to bigger and better things...and i don't blame them.  it got pretty quiet around here for a while, but i want to try it again, for myself.

i stopped writing because i was depressed.  i alluded to it in a post over two years ago, but that was written before i realized (or would admit) that something was seriously wrong.  because i am ridiculously stubborn, it took me nearly two years to seek the help i desperately needed.  but i did and things are a lot better now.  i've learned so much about myself, relationships, life, and my beliefs through this experience and one bitter lesson from the last three years is that, my depression was not caused by life's circumstances and, therefore, it is not going to just go away.  so this new sweetpagene is here to stay...but i'm learning how to live life again, instead of just exist.  and part of living my life is being obnoxious in the best way i know how:  by writing a silly blog.

so here i am!

and guess what!!!!  it's time for my annual christmas letter that is not actually annual because i only did it one time!  two years ago!  it will be full of all kinds of marvelous achievements and fascinating events from the last two years!!! get excited. (really though, i was depressed, so it will be the bummer of all christmas letters.)

but that will have to wait until tomorrow because all this typing has worn me right out.  i better go take a nap.