sleep-deprived shopping.

friday night, after a very satisfying and much anticipated law & order marathon, i was in need of something to do and sleep was still hours away.  it was, after all, only 1 am.  so i did what any bored, insomniac would do: i cleaned my oven.  and that heavy duty fantastik did such an amazing job that i got really excited and used it to clean my toaster, too.  and then i thought i might as well scrub the microwave while i'm at it and clean out and organize all the cupboards and let me tell you, by 5 am that kitchen looked like a tornado had hit and i was pretty sure i had budding respiratory problems from inhaling all that fantastik.  also, i felt a lot like that mouse that you gave a cookie to.  but by now it was bedtime so i went to bed after a good night's work.  i wake up naturally, no matter how little i've slept, by 7 am, so at 7 i was up and at 'em to finish the tornado.

and then i proceeded to have a very productive and fulfilling day on 2 hours of sleep.  so, at the end of the day, i was very happy to put on my freshly-laundered, suprisingly-still-soft and fluffy candy cane pjs and go to bed at an embarrassingly early hour on a saturday night (loser).  but it didn't matter how tired i was, because i found myself awake, at 3 am, excitedly watching an infomercial, credit card in hand, ready to spend $150 on something i DIDN'T NEED and DIDN'T WANT but knew that i COULDN'T POSSIBLY LIVE WITHOUT FOR ONE MORE SECOND.  so i did it.  i'm too ashamed to tell you what i bought, but i will tell you that, according to the infomercial, in 50 days you won't even recognize me.  i will be a better, slightly poorer version of myself.  i can't wait to show you.

seriously, i gotta figure out how to get a handle on these "sleep disturbances"...my budget can't take much more.

also, i can't wait for tonight's magic bullet infomercials.

ps.  the guy on the phone kept trying to slyly tack on extra "deals" to my order until the bill was over $300.  he didn't realize that i am at my sharpest at 3 am.  my sparkling oven is proof of that.