maybe it's time to grow out my hair.

a few months ago i got a haircut. sometimes i do that. i told the lady (lee) that i wanted a trim. in my world a trim means cutting off the very tips of the hair to "clean up" the haircut. in lee's world (korea) a trim apparently means "cutting the hair to make one look like a boy or a lesbian". it was a devastating haircut and i cried on the phone to my mom for an hour after leaving the salon. my mom, ever sympathetic, pointed out the irony that i shaved my head a few years ago and didn't cry about THAT. but, i went into that KNOWING what the outcome would be and i walked into lee's clutches, ignorant and unassuming, thinking that when i asked for a trim, i'd get a trim.

anyway, it finally grew out and today i decided that it was time to get another trim. i avoided lee and her lair of evilness and went to a brand new salon where they'd never seen my hair and hopefully shared my definition of trim. there i met ana. ana asked me how i wanted my hair. i said i want a trim. i said i want very little hair cut off. she asked me if i wanted a new style. i said no, the exact same style, just a little bit off, not too short, because if it's too short it won't curl and i don't want to lose my curl. ana chopped. and she chopped. and when i, in complete shock, said, "that's very short!" she said, "yeah, it's great, isn't it?!" and then when i repeated "that's very short!" she realized it wasn't so great and that it was probably the reason why my eyes were wide and my face pale. defensively she said, "i only cut off an inch and a half...which is half of your hair." WHO GOES IN FOR A TRIM WANTING HALF THEIR HAIR CUT OFF?!?!?! CRAZY PEOPLE?!?!?! PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO MEASURE?!?!? if somebody with 10 inches of hair asks for a trim do you cut 5 inches?!?! turns out that in ana's world (mexico) trim has the same definition as in lee's world. this time around it was much more difficult for me to hide my despair and ana could tell. she tried to style it for me and see if she could restore some of the curls that were now lying at her feet. she took out a giant brush and a hair dryer (my hair hasn't met a hair dryer since 1998) and tried to fashion some curls. unfortunately, there wasn't enough hair to curl. i ended up with a haircut somewhere between farrah fawcett and david hasselhoff. i have feathers that a bird would be jealous of. my curly hair, my pride and joy, is no longer. and i swear, if one more woman hits on me, i'll scream.