curly haired nightmare

yesterday i did an internet search for "curly haired child" and this is what i got:








i'm kind of embarrassed that joker guy and i have the same haircut.

ps. this is also creepy.

this sure isn't the planetarium.

"hey, guys, guess what? we're going on a field trip!"

"YEA!!!...do we need to bring our passports?"
(have you ever been on a field trip where you needed your passport? me neither. but around here, that is a totally valid question.)

i taught these kids all i know about the middle ages (which is surprisingly little) and then we took them to see real medieval castles. (welcome to europe!)


anna sitting on the pot. we took lots of pictures here. (of course, we did. they're fourth graders.)

dea and ada took notes. they were not required to. i did not even suggest it. but they brought their journals and copied every word the guide said. they are such cute little nerds.
adiya is totally unimpressed with everything i do.matteo was sure the 500-year-old poo was still stinky.
etienne and maria luiza humored me.
kristina is heading to the dungeon. sometimes i'd like to keep her there.
sara is almost always sweet.
sometimes alessia is, too.see that goof in the corner? he simultaneously makes my day and drives me crazy.
the guide is saying, "you can see italy just over there." ah, yes.
towers.
bridges.

they're not dead. they're rolling down the hill.
the entire fourth grade. aren't they cute?
and i had three of those magical sandwiches, so it was a pretty good day.

eeep!! eeep!!

that is the high-pitched sound i make every time i think about this:



dear CAKE,

a few months ago you filled my heart with joy and then subsequently broke it, by having a concert in my hometown... the EXACT SAME DAY I was moving to switzerland for the year. i pleaded with you to come a day early and you replied very cordially (and promptly) and said, "maybe we'll play in zurich." CAKE, you have no idea how I clung to that little glimmer of hope. And well, you aren't coming to zurich (but that's ok, because zurich is kind of borrrring). however, you made all my dreams come true AND gave me a great excuse to visit paris (which i actually probably never would have done because i'm one of about twelve americans who is really not that interested in paris). so, CAKE, thank you for making my year in europe complete. i can't wait to see you on march 19th. i'll be the one in the front with stars in my eyes.

see you soon,

sweetpagene

(and, aimee, i really sent this email, too. so please don't forward it to them, like last time. they are probably already crafting a very thoughtful response.)

the day i was almost robbed or how i got my new crush.

i got home from oktoberfest at 1:30 am. walking up to my apartment, i could see through the window that the light was on in the bathroom and thought to myself, "duh. i can't believe you left the bathroom light on all weekend." when i put my key in the lock, the lock wouldn't turn. it was already unlocked! i thought to myself, "duh. i can't believe you left the door unlocked all weekend. you're lucky you're in switzerland where no crime has been committed EVER." i walked in the apartment and all the lights were on. "what a waste of electricity!" i thought to myself.

do you want to know how i finally knew that something was wrong? because i saw the vacuum standing in the corner. "well, sweetpagene, that doesn't seem so out of the ordinary," you might be thinking. but you see, that is out of the ordinary when you understand that before that precise moment, i was not aware that i owned a vacuum.

that's when i started to panic. and i saw the balcony doors were open and i live on the ground floor. instead of arming myself (with what, i don't know, my caustic wit, maybe?) i rushed to my computer bag to see if the one thing i owned of any value had indeed been stolen. (it hadn't)

after i settled down a bit and my heart slid back down my throat to my chest and i made sure that the murderer wasn't waiting in my bathtub, i put 2 and 2 together and realized that the cleaning guy must have left hastily in the middle of cleaning and forgot to lock up (and also finish cleaning). what a relief. OH MY GOSH!!! I JUST REALIZED what if he was here when the murderer came in?!?! and the murderer murdered him (like murderers do)?!?!?! and then the murderer hauled off his body??!?! and then came back to vacuum up the blood!?!?! and clean my bathroom!?!?!? and wash my dishes?!?!?!

that probably didn't happen.

so what about that new crush?

well, i have a neighbor upstairs. we'll call him batt stalker*. i got home from school on monday and batt was sitting on the steps waiting for me. he told me that he had spent all weekend worrying about me and wondering if i was dead on the road somewhere. he had noticed that my balcony doors were open and did what every tough guy would do: scaled my wall and came in the apartment unarmed (except for his disarming good looks, of course) ready to rescue me, but really expecting to see me in a puddle of blood. when he saw that my computer wasn't stolen he, too, realized that it probably wasn't a break-in and maybe i was just a little crazy for leaving all the windows open in freezing weather. he still worried, though, and spent the large majority of the weekend watching out his window for me and checking my apartment. isn't that sweet? (and borderline creepy?)

i thought it was precious. especially when his voice cracked a bit in telling the story. i told him that i had figured the cleaning guy had been careless (or murdered) and that all was well. batt said, "yeah, if i hadn't been scared that you'd been attacked in your bedroom, i probably would have come to the same conclusion."

that's what love does, folks. it makes you so scared for the safety of your true love in the hands of imaginary murderers/robbers, that all reason and logic fly right out the window...the bathroom window, because it was left open...by the murderer/cleaning person.

and that is how i got my new crush.


*not his real name...but close.

it takes courage

last week i heard about a running group benefitting breast cancer research. the members of the group would train together and race in a half marathon together in the spring. i have a friend, ramona, who has battled breast cancer twice. TWICE. when i signed up for the club i had her in mind: i would do this for ramona.

i had my first run and knew i had an uphill battle ahead of me.

and the very next day, i learned that ramona had passed away.

ramona had an uphill battle and she fought every step of the way. when the cancer came back, she didn't resign herself to it. the doctors told her that eventually it would take her life. she did everything she could to fight it anyway and went through the nightmare all over again because she would not let it beat her. she came to work, she mothered her children, and she went on a cruise with her husband. the last few times i saw ramona she was smiling. and she was at peace. she had won.

ramona, this one's for you.

okt-sober-fest

one time i had alcohol. and it was on accident. (i thought anna's juice was sparkling apple juice, which i love, but i learned the hard way that it had been spiked with urine, which i love slightly less.) so why would i go to oktoberfest? WHY NOT!?!?

four of my colleagues and i smashed into a hyundai and left clean, orderly, anal retentive switzerland and crossed into wild and crazy germany, via stupid austria (stupid because we had to pay to drive our car there for 3 1/2 minutes) and intriguing liechtenstein (intriguing because "that's a real place?!?!?"). i volunteered to be navigator, because i love to tell people where to go and where to get off, but also because i was sitting in the middle of the backseat and if i didn't have a distraction from the sensation produced by having my knees shoved up into my chin then somebody (probably the person who insisted on reading aloud every single sign we passed) would not survive the car ride. thanks to my excellent navigating skills, we arrived in munich without a hitch. bright and early the next morning (6:45), christine the drill sargeant was calling "up and at 'em!" (i knew this would be an interesting trip when she sent us an informative email with helpful advice, like "don't forget to bring money!" and "hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!"). by the time we made it to oktoberfest, we were already missing 3 people. oh, boy.

now: on to the pictures!

translation: buy your lederhosen here!
and they did! the place was crawling with lederhosen and dirndls. my favorites were the asians wearing lederhosen. picture it.

we waited for an hour to get in this tent. thanks to my days as a concert goer i am adept at elbowing my way to the front of a crowd. when we got to the front, we found out: this isn't an entrance.these friendly chaps are ready for some action.
action accomplished.
there was a lot of this, accompanied by cheering.
and after the inhibitions were really low, a lot of this.and way too much of this. (this=kaiserschmarrn, which is a german word for "eggy pancakes cut up and dipped in delicious applesauce. it will knock your socks off. trust me" those germans and their efficient language)celeste and i had slightly smaller steins of sprite and coke mixed (completely flat) and alex totally missed the point of the picture: "let's get a picture of the non-drinkers!"
i met up with my friend, anna, who lives in austria (i am not sure why i have assumed a mr. t stance here) and her dutch boyfriend michiel (the nerd on the right) and his dutch friends. to this day, i have never met a dutch person that i didn't like. but, boy, do those dutch hate the germans. and the belgians.
then we went here, looking for some friends (they were already our friends, we weren't looking to make some.) and then i realized this was THE FAMOUS HOFBRAUHAUS so i took some pictures. it was hot and sweaty in there and i think that really shows in this picture. then we went to hard rock cafe for an authentic german experience, where some people forgot we were in an actual restaurant and not still at oktoberfest.
sunday morning we went to dachau. this gate says "work brings freedom" and leads to places where unspeakable things were inflicted on human beings by their fellow human beings. i stood in rooms that existed for unimaginable purposes.
on the way back to switzerland, we "stopped by" sleeping beauty's castle. it looked like a "stop by" on the map (which had clearly been drawn by a blindfolded retarded monkey), but it ended up being four hours out of our way. totally worth it:
and just across the valley was prince charming's castle, where a ball was being held for the prince to choose his bride.
and the whole gang looking much chipper than we would 5 hours later when we were hopelessly lost in bavaria, without a word of german in our repertoire, exhausted, and ready to punch in the face all the residents of lindau, the town that we were aiming for, but were convinced didn't actually exist. i still have my doubts.

note to self: if you are going to take photos to post on the internet, please wear a shirt that isn't 2 sizes too big and also is not bright yellow. you look like a giant lemon.

we got home at 1:30 am, where i found that my apartment had been broken into*!!!

*actually, don't panic. it wasn't broken into. i just thought it was.

it took one month, one week, and five days, but it finally happened.

i got homesick.

things i miss right now:

my mama
living in little mexico
days where it doesn't rain one tiny bit
college football**
mrs. o
driving atticus
watching the news in the morning
wal-mart
my old school (did i really say that?)
zumba at golds gym
grass
miss j
unlimited texts
spices
an apartment with a turquoise wall
b
tv shows that don't require download
brownie mixes that cost less than $7


**that's the one that tipped me off to my homesickness because really? college football? or any football for that matter. snoozefest.

i blame the leaves changing color.